When do you say when...?

Recently, here at our home, the possibility of returning to public schooling as become an issue.  My daughter had presented a well thought out position on this topic last year.  She came to my husband and me with a stack of computer printout papers on various local school districts.  She had in her little stack for each the state's 'gradecard' of each school listing the schools pros and cons along with her thoughts on the pros and cons of her attending that particular school.  It was a compelling case.  But, after long discussions with her and reviewing the information along with her answers to a few pointed questions from us it was decided that her rationale was for a social aspect alone and not academically related, so we agreed to help her add to her social activities (which are extensive as it is, by the way) and to keep home schooling.  She agreed and also agreed that the quality of the education she receives at home with a one on one situation exceeds what she is likely to receive at a full public school where things must be taught to the masses at the range of the 'norm' rather than being able to be more tailored to meet her needs or interests. 

Subject closed, right?  Nope.  (Did I mention this is a rather persistent child?) 

So, a week or so ago, she comes to me with the information on a new program added to a local technical/vocational school in our area.  I initially thought, "absolutely, not!"  This is a school that when I was in high school was not somewhere you really wanted to send a child that is more capable academically, who had hopes and aspirations of a college degree in her future.  Nor was the social norm of the students the type that a parent intentionally would seek for their child.  So, I sent out my feelers for 'street information' on the school and program and called the school for the official information.  Oh, did I forget to explain that I was looking for the 'dirt' to be able to tell her 'no'?  Yep, I was.  I had no intentions of even considering it further, but knowing my daughter would come loaded with 'proof' of her case, I had to gather my own.  (Add resourceful to that character trait list of this child...)

I have always said that even parents can be wrong.  And, I am here to say publicly that I MAY have been wrong in this case.  (the jury is still out)  I called the school.  I talked to one of the most understanding and pleasant women I have had the fortune to speak with regarding schooling/homeschooling situations and concerns.  She gave me the official run down on this program.  You know, the requirements, locations, objectives, daily operations and some of the norms used by the other students for their academic options to the program.  This is a preforming arts program, so they spend the first half of the day working in workshops on various aspects of the trade/art, then the second half of the day is dedicated to fulfilling their academic obligations.

Yeah, but to what extent are they really learning?  What are the quality of the teachers?  Are they getting a quick 'meet the requirements to graduate' only type learning or are they truly learning?  How can the classes be tailored to MY child and her learning style and pace?  It turns out these all are handled very well.  At least, officially. 

The students have the option to return to their local school district (if it is close enough) in the afternoons to take classes with the rest of the students in their public school setting.  They have the option of staying in the building that is only for the performing arts academy and work on an online program that goes as fast or as slow as the child needs.  It is totally customizable to the skills and abilities of the student and ranges from remedial to AP classes.  The student also has the option of taking duo credit classes at the local university if they qualify.  Or, there is even the possibility that they can possibly allow us to continue to home school our student for any or all of the academic classes we choose to not fulfill in one of these other methods.  An educational smorgasbord!

The only real concern that I have at this point is the quality of the program, but even that is not a huge deal for me.  My daughter receives great dance instruction at the studio she has been with since she was a toddler and will continue to do so no matter what our end decision with this educational twist turns out to be.  She has hopes of owning a small dance studio when she is older.  She wants it as a side to her 'real job'.  (that varies on what it will be from time to time, so I hesitate to state what that may end up being.)  She is simply looking for another perspective on her instruction.  A different set of eyes, so to speak.  I think that is a valid thought process.  Why not have multiple teaching and learning styles to work with when it comes time for her to teach her own dance students?  (So, add 'mature', 'insightful', 'forethinking'...to her list of traits?)

So, I guess my question of "when do you say when?" applies to me today.  When do you push your child to follow their desires beyond your vision?  When do you say to them, "I have done all I know to do to prepare you to make good decisions that could affect you for the rest of your life."? When do you say, "I trust you."?

When ... do you let go?