Have you heard of the term "Brick and Mortar School"? If you are not new to homeschooling, you have. It is simply what it implies - a traditional school setting within the (brick and mortared) walls of a specific facility for that purpose.
There are so very many debates on homeschooling. Do you do it the entire set of school years? Only the early ones? Only to get them through the preteen/'hormonal changing' stage of middle school? Back by High School? There are so very many views of the best ideas and options on homeschooling and the timing of teaching your children at home. I am of a view that there are no right and wrong years. That the best situation is the one that best fits your child and your family and the beliefs that you have. I also believe that for our situation, 'there is no place like home'! Not all of my children feel the same when it comes to school, so the debate comes a little closer to home for us this year. I am hoping that by looking at this situation ourselves and sharing some of the thoughts that we feel are important to consider it may help some of you facing the same situation now or later.
I think it is important to first think of the reasons that you decided to homeschool your children. Do you still firmly believe in those reasons? Sometimes things change and you may see those same situations that haunted you years ago in a different light entirely! Are your reasons spiritual? Are they for safety concerns? Morality issues? Lack of belief or trust in the local system? Did your children just need a different approach? Were they unhappy or bullied in school? Think of the reasons that you originally chose this path. Then seriously decide if they still hold true.
Next, what is your child saying about the choices that you have made? Did they request to be homeschooled? Do they still see they choices the same way that you did? What is their maturity level in comparison of being able to truly understand all of the ramifications of the situation? Are they impulsive and make decisions rashly or do they think through the pro's and con's of a serious situation and make rational choices? Do they like to live in the now or are they capable and willing to look a little further down the road at the time in their life when things such as their education will fully impact their life?
Assemble your thoughts. Assemble your research. Consider your child's opinion. Encourage them to assemble their own thoughts and research and then come together to compare these various views and facts. Do they simply wish for more interaction outside of the home in a general sense? That could be an easy fix. Do they have a specific activity or goal that they feel could only happen in a traditional brick and mortar setting? Are their goals realistic? I think it only fair that (if your child is at a maturity level to do this) you at least listen to the concerns or wishes of the child. Does that mean that you automatically give them what they are requesting? Well, certainly not. You ARE the parent and you ARE still responsible to meeting the needs and safety issues (etc) of your child. However, if you believe your child to be of a maturity level to be able to rationalize their wishes of traditional schooling with valid and realistic goals, then it should be considered.
Does your child have a certain picture of what traditional school will look and feel like? Is is realistic? Do they picture in their head that school will be like seen on the media portrayals of school such as "High School Musical" or "Seventh Heaven" or one of their favorite shows? Likely. They can not help it, though. That is what school is portrayed as to them repeatedly in the media. Is your child one that would listen fairly and truly consider your explanation or that of someone they respect other than you or your spouse in getting a better picture of real school. In today's real world. Will they listen when you explain the cliques, the social 'grouping' that goes on so heavily? Will they listen to the goals that you and your child have mapped out for their education and look at both options of homeschooling and traditional schooling in relation to meeting those goals? Or do they just feel like "lots of other kids make it every year, so what is the big deal?"
In the end, I suggest sitting down with your information, and your child with their information. Try very hard to keep an open mind and a heart that wears armour, because you can not help but feel hurt that your child is shunning that you have put your heart and sole into trying to give to them. You chose this way of life because you wanted to provide something that you felt was important for/to your child. (And, it IS a way of life. It affects so many aspects of your day in and day out activities and choices that it must be a way of life.) You can not help but be offended or hurt by the request. But, if your child is responsible, realistic, goal oriented in the long term rather than meeting a need or feeling for the time "right now", then I would say that you have raised a pretty strong child and possibly their viewpoint should be given a little more weight than it did when they lacked these traits.
In the end, however, remember that you are the parent. Your right and responsibility to your child and to say "no" is still very much there. You still have the right to express your opinion for their well being not for just today, but for the long term. The teen years may be one of the most important times to exercise this right in order to keep them on track for the end results you are both striving to meet. What are those goals? Well, some may say a high paying job, to raise a family, to be a doctor or a lawyer or .....whatever. I say that the end result is and should always be to be a responsible adult that is able to think openly and fairly, to behave morally and justly with intelligence and forethought and to be a productive citizen of their community while being as contented and happy as they can possibly be.
Now, how do you get there?
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